Thursday, June 7, 2012

Thanks City Council, Now I Have To Buy An Endless Supply Of Non-Recyclable Rubber Gloves To Pick Up My Dog's Poo!

Thanks to city council, starting January 1 retailers will no longer be providing you with plastic bags. Not to worry, the bag pictured will be available for doggy poop pick-up. It retails for $2.99, will hold roughly 7 lbs of feces, has extra durable handles, and is non-recyclable. It will be up to you if you wish to present your feces with the included tissue paper.

Above all : DON'T PANIC!! While this MAY be another sign of  impending world doom in 2012, until that prophecy proves true I'm going to chalk it up to further evidence that Toronto city council is composed mostly of individuals who received their education watching Al Gore documentaries and Maury reruns. 

What will this mean for Toronto dog walkers and owners? We'll simply have to purchase our bags in the freezer aisle. I'm sure the Glad company will be more than willing to raise the prices on all its products by next year. Yet we all know that this decision is going to result in more doggy waste throughout the city. I'm hedging bets that city council never even thought of this fact. Did they think about the fact that the canvas bags we purchase for $1.99 at the checkout aisle aren't recyclable at all? Nope. It seems council made another spur of the moment decision motivated primarily by contempt toward Mayor Rob Ford, all the while Torontonians suffer.

Thanks to city council being full of shit, soon Toronto parks and sidewalks will be too.