Thursday, February 23, 2012

Things That Make Me Go Grrrrr.....Things That Are More Dangerous Than Pit Bulls

Avoid at all costs
To celebrate today's victory at the Ontario Legislature (it's not over yet, though with more pressure on the government, helpless.dogs will no longer be killed simply based on appearance), I have decided that instead of focusing my anger toward those who voted against the repeal of Breed Specific Legislation (Liberals), I'm going to speak out against all things more dangerous than Pit Bulls. I put hours of research into this (thanks Wikipedia, for never steering me wrong) comparing recent causes of fatalities. I hate each and every one of the following, and they are the things we really need to fear :

Ladders - These things kill hundreds of people a year, no matter the height. The fault here should be partially placed on owners, who obviously put little effort into training their ladders.

Stairs - Now we're talking thousands of annual deaths. This means that if a Pit Bull (or any dog for that matter) is ever chasing you, you have a higher chance of dying if you attempt to escape by running up a flight of stairs than you do at the paws of the dog itself.

Rope and/or twine - Over 240 accidental hanging deaths in the UK alone in 2007. For years I have tried to start a Facebook group to ban all forms of rope (including jumping AND skipping). So far, the Liberal government has been unresponsive to my plight.

Bathtubs - The drowning rates are astounding. Time to switch to showers everybody! Unfortunately, it is physically impossible to soak away the stresses of the day while in an upright position. Plus, the bubble bath goes straight down the drain.

Hot Dogs - Kill over 25 people a year, though the figure only takes choking into consideration. When you take the actual ingredients of a hot dog into account, this figure rises to 232 457.

Fame - You don't need my help on this one, the annual fatality rate is huge.. But I will warn you that if you are a famous hot dog, things don't look too good.

And just a few more :

Prolonged exposure to the sun
Prolonged exposure to Michael Bay films (as yet unproven)

As usual I feel better....feel free to comment if you can think of anything else that's more dangerous than a Pit Bull. I'm sure there are 1000s of inanimate objects and as a moral society, we must unite to ban them if we are to survive. Don't forget, it will really help our cause if we can get the media on our side. No one is better when it comes to fear mongering against flights of stairs than the media.